I’m a mom of two babies. I tutor two days a week. We never eat out (so guess where all the meals come from). I also am a part-time maker with a to-do list to take care of my Etsy store.
I’m busy already, and now the holidays make it feel even more crazy!
Let’s unpack this for a moment.
I’m personally not a fan of the term “self care”. To me, it sounds selfish, self centered, and gives off other negative connotations.
The idea behind the term is simple and flexible, and I like it. That idea is this: don’t get burnt out, take care of yourself.
With my busy life, that’s an idea I can get behind!
Origin of Self Care
I’ll be honest, it’s a Millennial thing. It comes from the fear that Millennials have of being burnt out (like we have seen happen to the generations before us). Often, this results in the “spoil myself” activities and attitudes that give Millennials a selfish, and lazy persona. Which results in a drive to be useful and productive, which results in burn out… And thus the idea of Self Care was born!
However, it is by no means a new idea. Taking time to relax, unwind, refocus on what’s really important in life, has always been a priority for every generation. With our current culture (especially in America) emphasizing the importance of the individual, the individual’s rights, needs, and desires being of the highest good in life, it’s really not that surprising that the Millennials have attached to this term and idea of Self Care.
How I Do For Self Care
Prequel: I don’t really call it Self Care, or Me Time, or whatever. Using those terms, for me, puts me in a selfish state of mind right off the bat. However, I do set aside time to work on me, and the most important things in my life. That is the essence of what Self Care is, and really what it should be.
First, I dedicate some time every day to read my Bible. Usually, it’s in the morning (my back up time slot is during afternoon naps) before the kids wake up. Just me, my tea and breakfast, and my Bible. I pray that God would use what I’m reading that day to teach me what I need to know about who He is. I read until my kids wake up. Whether that’s 10 minutes or 45 minutes. This is what sets the tone for my whole day, for my whole life. Days when I don’t read, I’m really off. It’s not good.
A word about kids and sleeping:
I have sleep-trained both my kids, so that I can have time like this to do what I need to do. It’s that simple. My kids go to bed at the same times, they wake up in the morning at about the same time (maybe 30 minutes difference some days), and they nap at the same time. It took some work and it wasn’t easy! It’s possible, and it keeps me sane. 🙂
Second, this guy. My husband is amazing, and I love him. We make our relationship a priority. Yes, even above our kids, and above spending time as a whole family. Spending time with him comes first. Whether it’s a date, watching a show on Netflix we both like, watching his team play, or even just taking 10 minutes when he gets home to kiss him and ask him about his day.
Third, we call this “mama snuggles”. Sometimes I just need to hold my babies. It’s a moment that sometimes I just need, usually in the evening, after a long day of parenting and toddlers being toddlers. Just to remind myself and my kids how much I love them. It’s always a reality check for me. Each time I hold them, they seem a little bit bigger. Each time I kiss them good night, I want to stay a second or two longer. I see them growing daily, I see them changing, and I love it and hate it all at the same time.
I take time to snuggle with them because they will never be this age again.
They will soon be too big, but they will know that I love them, because I hold them now. ❤
I don’t do any of this for me. My goal in taking time for me, or “putting my brain on” as I tell my kids, is not ultimately for me.
I seek to glorify God with my whole life.
I read my Bible so that I know how God wants me to think, speak, and act.
I spend time with my husband, because he is my husband. I do this because I am his wife, it’s the job God has given me to love, honor, and respect my husband.
I love and parent my kids because God has entrusted me with them, but ultimately they are His and I want them to grow up to want to glorify God with their whole lives like I do.
Why do I do Self Care?
To help me keep the my focus on God, because nothing else is really that important in the end.
Soli Deo Gloria!