Daughter: “Mooooooom! She has my bear!”
Me: “Were you playing with it?”
Daughter: “Nooooo, but it’s mine.”
Me: “Well, since your sister didn’t take it from you, and you really weren’t playing with it, I think you can wait until she’s finished playing with it.”
Daughter: “But I waaaaant it…”
How many times have I had this conversation? Countless.
How many times will I have this conversation in the future? Countless more.
When will my children out grow this phase of selfishness, control seeking, and greed? Never, and honestly I haven’t ‘out grown it’ either.
Nobody has, nobody will, because it’s not a phase.
It’s not a behavior issue. It’s not a childhood issue.
It’s a heart issue. It’s a humanity issue.
As adults we are a little bit more sneaky about it. We want, typically, good things.
We want things to go well. We want to be secure. We want things just so. We want time to do what makes us feel good, look attractive, feel accomplished, appear intelligent.
We want to be in charge. We want control.
Here’s the problem, we want what we want no matter what.
My daughter is not as sophisticated as I am, so she readily admits: I want it, and I don’t care about anything, or anyone else.
As adults, we would never say that out loud! Maybe not even in our heads…
But that is the reality of our hearts.
How do you check this?
For, as Jeremiah says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).
Here’s some ideas of how to check your heart:
What makes you upset? What ruffles your feathers? What makes you anxious?
Our hearts are deceptive even to us!
The problem arises when the good thing we want becomes, as Paul David Tripp says, “a ruling thing”.
When you want that thing more than you want to be in God’s word, serve his people, and come before the throne of grace in prayer; more than you want Him, you’re heart is in the wrong place.
God must be first.
Here’s the other deceptive part. We think we can do Jesus plus ____________.
God is exclusive. He does not tolerate sharing first place in our lives. He is not neutral, it’s all or nothing. We either give him all the glory, all our control, all our desires, all our work, all our everything, or we are giving it to something else.
How can a loving God be so greedy, jealous, selfish even?
That’s what we think, but here’s the deal, it’s not ours to begin with. Everything belongs to God, our lives, our stuff, our family, all of the universe belongs to him. More than that, in our sin, we were dead, and separated from God. Jesus Christ’s sacrifice for us on the cross gave us what we did not have: life.
Everything we have is from God, any sense of selfishness, need to control, or greed simply does not make sense!
As believers we do not have to be trapped in the deception of our own hearts. We are free from that! We still must fight as long as we are in these sin riddled, broken bodies, but we are not enslaved to sin any longer. Our victory is not realized yet, but it is assured, achieved, and indeed “finished”.
We are well equipped to fight, with the Holy Spirit in our hearts, the very Words of God in the Bible, our lifeline, and intimate communication of prayer, and our fellow soldiers in our local churches, our band of brothers and sisters.
I encourage you, as I encourage, exhort, and instruct my own heart, and my children’s hearts. Fight the good fight.
Soli Deo Gloria!